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Chapter 0I woke up this morning. I felt like shit. I looked at an image of my enemy, whose name is Furbearingbrick. He deleted my all-caps, Pokemon and SCP crossover pasta. He sucks. I wake up every morning by shooting at the image of Furbearing brick with my laser pistol. Bam. Today I hit it right in between the eyes.
Chapter 2That is my special superpower. I can slow down time to align up shots. I also fly, turn into a demon, and hypnotise people to have sex with me. I also play the melodica. So anyway I went into the living room and oh god it was horrible.
Chapter 3Disembodied faces all over the wall. There was a man in a hoodie who was cutting up family. I tried to stop him and I saw his face... It was so verreh skerreh. I slowed down time and shot up the guy like a dozen times and he died. I ran to my parents and they were dead. I screamed so loud it broke all the windows in the universe because of my super conic scream powers. I had no choice but to get revenge. I looked in the guys coatpocket and found a card for "Evil Thug Incorperated" with an adress so I went there.
Chapter 4I went to the adress and there was a bouncer. Simple to beat. He tried to stop me. I wonder what he would have done if he figured out how strong I was. In fact, I was a member of the Sue Caste, a group of people with exponential powers. Unfortunatly a horrible beast ate them all. It was horrible and I was the only survivor. It was my tragic past. Nobody knows about it to this date, except right now.
Chapter 5Then suddenly I realized the horrible beast was actually the shadow monster from before! Consumed with rage I flung the bouncer back and made him explode with my powers. Stupid bouncer.
Chapter 6Then I ran into the bar, slowed down time, and shot everyone up. Another stupid bouncer tried to grab me from behind but I killed him. Then suddenly a guy in a giant suit ran up and... all I remember is black.
Chapter 7I woke up in a torture chamber. There was a guy about to kill me. He was gonna run a meat shaver under my nuts which don't actually exist because I am too awesome for nuts. So I was about to get killed by the meat shaver after 5 hours of this when I remembered I could turn into a demon! So I did that and broke the restraints and shoved the guy in the torture chamber and his nuts got shaved off. Then I freed all the other people from the torture chamber including emma watson who I had sex with for the rest of eternity.
Chapter 8
OOC: THIS STORY ISNT DONE. Okay? I just need to take a break because I'm not some kind of fucking gamer who can write a story in one sitting. I will just take a rest for a short while and this story is NOT. DONE. CHECK BACK IN LIKE A MINUTE OR SO AND IT WILL PROBABLY BE DONE.
ALSO MY CHARACTER WHO IS NAMED EPIC BERT VON MYLAKA THE IIIth IS NOT A MAIRY SUE BECAUSE HE HAS A TRAGIC PAS11111111111111111111